a blog like thing

I stopped reading fashion and tabloid magazines a long time ago. Mostly because I found that they made me feel worse about myself rather than better. I have spoken to many women whose experience is similar to mine. In fact, many studies have shown that women’s self-esteem goes down after reading fashion magazines. But what about men?

A recent article suggested that men suffer from body image issues after reading magazines just like women do. The study took a group of undergraduate males and had them look at magazines that featured highly sexualized women (i.e. Maxim). Interestingly enough, these men reported feeling more self-conscious after reading the magazines than before they picked them up. Why would this be?

“This was surprising because if you look at the cover of these magazines, they are mainly images of women,” Aubrey said. “We wondered why magazines that were dominated by sexual images of women were having an effect on men’s feelings about their own bodies.”

She reported that the main reason men feel self-conscious after reading a magazine filled with images of sexualized women is that they feel they have to live up to the same level of attractiveness in order to be worthy of the women they see in the magazines.

“Men make the inference that in order to be sexual and romantic with women of similar caliber that they see in Maxim magazine, they also need to be attractive,” said lead researcher Jennifer Aubrey of the Department of Communications at the University of Missouri, Columbia.”

This was very interesting to me because I have never really thought that men had it as bad as we women do when it comes to body image. And maybe on some level that’s true, but I think it’s probably more accurate to infer that we have our own sets of issues when it comes to being self-conscious about our looks; and often times, we don’t hear much from the male side of things.

There is a fabulous new British singer that I’ve been listening to a lot lately named ADELE. I, along with millions of other U.S. viewers, first saw her perform on Saturday Night Live. I was pleasantly surprised not only by her sultry, power-house of a voice but by the fact that she didn’t look like every other new artist that seems to be gracing the stage these days (you know the type…petite, blond and southern). Her voice, appearance and personality were unique and a breath of fresh air in an industry that seems to be getting more and more homogeneous.

ADELE is a UK Size 14-16 and has addressed her refusal to diet in interviews saying:

“I’m really mouthy about not having the Hollywood look. Everyone asks me ‘Why don’t you feel pressured to get the Hollywood look?’ and I’m like, “Because I don’t.”

What I find interesting is what a friend pointed out to me a while back when she first saw ADELE’s album cover. Although I find the album cover to be very artistic and cool, I have a nagging feeling that there is more to it then what meets the eye. If you notice, the album cover shows only the singers face which is very dark and shaded so you really get no idea as to what this beautiful woman looks like. Call me a skeptic, but I think this elusive album cover might have been designed to intentionally try to hide what ADELE really looks like. It might be a stretch, but as thin-obsessed as our society is, it wouldn’t shock me if I were wrong.

I think this girl is amazing and so beautiful just the way she is. She adds variety and soul to the music industry and I’m hoping she does amazing at the Grammy’s this year!

I posted a video in the forums: http://neverobey.net/forum/music/adele-hometown-glory/#p160

A few weeks ago this article caught my attention, Dating 101: Four Things Never to Utter Around Him and I thought #3 was fascinating of course.

Turnoff #3: Your Bad Body Image and Food Issues
“First it was the grapefruit diet. Then it was Jenny Craig. Now it’s the Fatkins thing. My girlfriend tries a new diet about once a month, and she explains how she’s convinced that this is the one that’s going to help her lose weight. I always remind her that the reason I asked her out in the first place is because I think she’s beautiful. I wouldn’t be attracted to her if she looked like a string bean.” — Derek, 29

Now, I’m not one to put a lot of stock into internet dating tips but I thought this one had a point. Assuming that you are in a caring relationship, your man is with you because he thinks you are beautiful and wonderful the way you are. And more than that, he’s probably not too interested in hearing you trash the love of his life. So, do yourself and your relationship a favor and start caring about and loving yourself the way your loved ones do. Here’s a healthy alternative: look at yourself in the mirror and try to see yourself the way that those who love you do. Make a list of what makes you beautiful. As simple as it sounds, this is not an easy thing to do. Believe me, I know. However, once you start seeing yourself the way those who love you do, a whole new world of freedom begins to open up.

Ok seriously. What’s going on?! How many times have you walked into Starbucks and seen a girl who couldn’t fit into her 00 jeans? Personally, I’ve lost count. It disturbs me to see so many women filling up on venti-sized coffee (no sugar added) and eating absolutely no food! Don’t be fooled, when they tell you they’re “naturally” that small, but the last time you saw them eating was 2002, you do the math. Something is just not adding up!

So if you see a girl whose size 00’s don’t fit her AND you’ve noticed that she really doesn’t eat too often, PLEASE, by all means, tell her to put down the trip skinny latte, go to her local restaurant and order a nice, juicy CHEESEBURGER! No excuses. She can even get a turkey burger or a veggie burger, just as long as it has all the trimmings and some fries too.

Stop living in fear that food is your worst enemy. Food was made to enjoy! The next time you tell yourself “I can’t eat that” stop and ask yourself, “Is this truly for my health or am I trying to live up to an ideal?” Everything in moderation is the key to living a healthy, balanced and fulfilling life. Too much of ANYTHING is bad (over-exercising, over-eating, too much sugar, too much starvation.) Too much of a GOOD thing is still a bad thing. If you can begin to live this rule out you are on your way to loving the healthier happier you!

We are in a cultural crisis. Not the kind that happens in third world countries like Iraq or the Sudan. Our crisis involves a lack of cheeseburger consumption. I would like to think that we as women could concern ourselves with the daily suffering that is occurring around the world. Instead we are told to worry about our weight. But I think it’s time that we as women have to start having a voice of our own. It’s time to say here and now EAT A CHESSEBURGER. I think to help facilitate us in this process we’re gonna need some cheeseburger rules.

wtf

haha, woops